Clinging Yet Never Experiencing

another photo of mine I adapted with PicsArt

Seeking.

Searching for a needle in a haystack.

Living on the sidelines, clinging to ideas and systems that promise to “fix” you.

Holding tightly to a regimen you believe will make you normal, dare you think perfect………..

Spending your life trying every new method that crosses your path, all the while your own thoughts, emotions and traumas pile up, suffering neglect underneath the years of clinging yet never experiencing.

Eventually the smoke clears.

You see the carnage surrounding you. The years of telling yourself to try harder. Don’t give up. You’re going to find your “home”, you just haven’t worked hard enough.

It’s painful to see, yet simultaneously the most beautiful sight your soul has ever beheld.

Mental illness.

It can not, will not, be covered up by Christianity, meditation, manifestation, new age spirituality, endless workouts, perfect nutrition, pod casts, spiritual audio books, moving across the country, changing jobs, endless new hobbies…….

Such valiant effort is to be applauded.

Eventually you fall to the ground. A puddle of sweat and elbow grease.

It’s time to face the beliefs about yourself you’ve carried in a burlap sack since childhood. The years have been hard on you and have added weight to the mental load you carry.

Oh my dear, how you’ve clung, held on tightly to ideas, spiritual beliefs, practices and lifestyles.

Through it all you never experienced yourself.

It’s time to meet the being that is you and I assure you she is beautiful beyond measure.

Being is all there is.

7 thoughts on “Clinging Yet Never Experiencing

  1. AWESOME POST! IN GREAT BIG SHOUTY LETTERS. This is so true – we think we can outthink ourselves by being tricky but we can’t. What can’t be forgotten must be faced. Good girl – get your sword out and start hacking through the crap. You’ve got this Mare. You have got this.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’ve got a big shit shovel 💩🤣

      Perfect words Kate, thank you. We can’t outthink ourselves. Crazy how hard we try to cover the inner turmoil with outer productivity. ❤️❤️❤️❤️😘

      Like

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