Not because of the virus.
Triggers come in all shapes and sizes. I can’t pinpoint the trigger this time.
Maybe it’s feeling a loss of control.
We can say we have control of ourselves until we’re blue in the face. It may be true to some extent………….and then there’s
When the old wounds of trauma are triggered, all bets are off.
Taming the effects of trauma takes work, and once you’ve been triggered, all the lessons fly right out the gaping hole that’s been ripped open.
We grasp frantically at the tactics that have worked in the past only to find we’re too far gone. Fallen so deeply into the pit.
Alas, does this mean there’s more to heal, more layers to be pulled back. The dark holds lessons we missed the last time we were triggered. Will we ever heal completely?
Distraction. Distraction. Distraction…………….Paint, read, paint, walk, write, stare at the wall, scroll Instagram, hide in your room, pop a valium, pour some wine………………peel yourself back like a sardine can……look at the content stuffed inside……cramped into a small space…..you never asked for the contents in the fucking can……….
Go though the motions. Go through them again. Meditate. Meditate again.
Accept the fact you’ve been triggered. Stop trying to fight it. Stop feeling guilty for being human. Being vulnerable. Stop apologizing for the fact you haven’t fucking arrived yet. You’re not as strong as you pretend to be.
Mary Lambert is a beautiful, bad ass woman. I adore all of her albums.