My New Addiction

I’m addicted.

Thank you Eileen for this incredible idea.

Eileen is an energy healer, and her blog is like reading a novel you don’t want to put down. Head to her homepage and read her fascinating story on how she became a healer.

Jase’s girls are here while their school is closed and this has been the perfect activity for us. We don’t notice the hours go by. The other night we painted through the dinner hour. That will certainly keep us from running out of food, hahaha!

Yesterday was a bit rough as my youngest son celebrated his 16th birthday in Illinois. It’s a challenge to not feel like a shit mother, him living so far away. The dialogue in my brain is murderous.

I used to make him loaves of the best banana bread on his bday. He sent a text asking for the recipe. His dad’s girlfriend had made some, and in my son’s exact words “it’s drier than the desert.”

Breaks my heart into a million pieces and punches a hole in my gut that will never be filled. 16 years old and he still wants mom’s banana bread. Did he have to make it himself after I sent the recipe?

Life can throw us a few unforeseen punches, can it not? I chose to leave the Midwest after getting divorced. I’ve asked many times if I should move back and every time my son’s reply “No mom, coming to visit gives me something to look forward too.”

Long story short, I couldn’t afford to bring him with me and his dad would never allow it.

So, in the midst of the pain, gratitude cuddles up next to it. Thankful we have maintained a relationship. Thankful to be close to all 4 of my boys although I’m no longer with their father.

Pain and gratitude co-exist in the same heart.

They must, there is no other way.

25 thoughts on “My New Addiction

  1. I love the painted rocks! You’re a great mom to your kids and Jase’s. Try not to beat yourself up. I can imagine how hard it must have been on your son’s birthday. I’m glad you’re able to feel gratitude even when you’re sad. Big hugs x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh my gosh! I paint rocks too! How cool is that?

    I think it’s wonderful that he misses your banana bread and if he does make it himself that is something extra special. I love to bake, and even though my mom didn’t bake much there are a few things that bring special feelings to me. Not even the exact recipe always, but the act of baking, I fondly remember making cookies with my mom, or helping her make a cake. Baking shares love, and that banana bread is love in a loaf that he can have whenever he wants, because you shared the recipe. I feel warm and gooey thinking about it.

    Now I want banana bread.
    Of course there were no bananas at the store.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yay! Another stone painter, my goodness itโ€™s therapeutic.

      Thank you for your lovely words ๐Ÿฅฐ and for sharing times with your mom. I baked a lot with my kids, it was so fun.

      Like

  3. Wow, Wow, Wow how beautiful your stones are, well done you. I am so impressed by those. Remember when life is tough it teaches us about love and how strong we really are, you are a beautiful person never forget that x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is so good. So many thought cookies to munch. I love your posts. I love those rocks! They look fantastic! I love my boys deeply so i know it is breaking your heart. Thanks for the new blog to dive into too. Will check it out. Big love to you Mare.

    Liked by 1 person

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