Stop The Dizzying Direction Dilema

The many directions are dizzying.

Do this, do that, go here, don’t go there, try this not that………read this, listen to that………be mindful, eat well, exercise, work hard but don’t forget self care……..

Spinning in the circle of opinions and advice is nauseating business.

There are things we believe and truths that we know.

Truth comes from experience. No one can argue you out of your own experience. Your experience, that’s concrete.

Beliefs…..hmmmm now those are shape shifting little buggars.

For years I believed the medication highway was not for me. I believed in meditation, not medication. Oh how those beliefs are a shiftin!

I have tried more medications in the past 5 months than in all of my 44 years on this planet, and in 2 weeks I’m going to have Ketamine infusions.

Truth is: I’m miserable. My body is wracked with pain from head to toe. I feel like I’m dragging it though quick sand. Laying down is the only thing that provides a little relief. It hurts to move.

I’ve exercised, eaten healthy, consumed top of the line supplements, meditated, stretched, gotten rest, listened to and read spiritual text etc…for most of my adult years. I began searching for optimal health in body, mind and spirit in my early 20’s.

My truth tells me: SO FUCKING WHAT!?

Do I believe that those things are “good”? Am I still participating in these activities. Sure do and sure am but my truth tells me something different.

My truth tells me: YOU HAVE NO COTROL

I read this today: “Do not despair, then, because of limitations. It is your function to escape from them, but not to be with out them. If you would be heard by those who suffer, you must speak their language.

I’ve never taken the time to learn a foreign language but I’m being taught one against my will.

I suppose it’s time to let go and listen.

9 thoughts on “Stop The Dizzying Direction Dilema

  1. I tried also numerous things to better my situation, to better myself (as I thought). Only when I hit rock bottom, I took medication. Honestly I would have done everything. It takes some time to find your answer to your life struggles but we do what we can or know at that moment don’t we? I hope that learning that ‘foreign’ language of the body or the mind, can be a real treasure.

    Liked by 1 person

      • Blogging helped me to share my story and to find people struggling with the same or other issues but it opened my eyes and made me see that I am not that weird and that I’m also not alone on my journey. It really can lift you up!

        Liked by 2 people

  2. I believe in all you believe(d) in. It’s definitely helpful and my first line of defense. But as you’ve already figured out, pain can be debilitating. We don’t want to hurt and we (mostly) want to live, hence, we do whatever it takes.

    You might be kidnapped against your will, but look around and remember the details so you know where you went.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I love the quote you shared about limitations. Than you.😊
    It’s true what you said- so much is out of our control despite our best efforts. I hope the next round of treatment will be effective and give you some much needed relief!

    Liked by 1 person

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