The many directions are dizzying.
Do this, do that, go here, don’t go there, try this not that………read this, listen to that………be mindful, eat well, exercise, work hard but don’t forget self care……..
Spinning in the circle of opinions and advice is nauseating business.
There are things we believe and truths that we know.
Truth comes from experience. No one can argue you out of your own experience. Your experience, that’s concrete.
Beliefs…..hmmmm now those are shape shifting little buggars.
For years I believed the medication highway was not for me. I believed in meditation, not medication. Oh how those beliefs are a shiftin!
I have tried more medications in the past 5 months than in all of my 44 years on this planet, and in 2 weeks I’m going to have Ketamine infusions.
Truth is: I’m miserable. My body is wracked with pain from head to toe. I feel like I’m dragging it though quick sand. Laying down is the only thing that provides a little relief. It hurts to move.
I’ve exercised, eaten healthy, consumed top of the line supplements, meditated, stretched, gotten rest, listened to and read spiritual text etc…for most of my adult years. I began searching for optimal health in body, mind and spirit in my early 20’s.
My truth tells me: SO FUCKING WHAT!?
Do I believe that those things are “good”? Am I still participating in these activities. Sure do and sure am but my truth tells me something different.
My truth tells me: YOU HAVE NO COTROL
I read this today: “Do not despair, then, because of limitations. It is your function to escape from them, but not to be with out them. If you would be heard by those who suffer, you must speak their language.”
I’ve never taken the time to learn a foreign language but I’m being taught one against my will.
I suppose it’s time to let go and listen.