Stop Should~ing On Yourself and Others

What good is it when you find yourself in a precarious situation and exclaim “I SHOULD have done it differently!”

Why should on yourself like that?

All the shoulding in the world, will not, can not, change the fact that you did it the way you did it, and you are in the situation NOW.

What’s done is done.

Let us also put and end to shoulding on others.

“I think you SHOULD do it this way.”……………”You SHOULD have done what I suggested.”…………..”I told you so.” ……..”Why can’t you do it like me.”

The past is the past. It happened. No one can change the past.

There are Should have’s from the past, Should have’s for the future and Should be’s for the present moment.

Can we remove the shame of shoulding on ourselves and others?

We hold tightly to our shoulds.

Our parents, our exes, our friends, and children should have done it differently.


No one on the face of this planet can go back and change the choices they’ve made, and we hold the power to give others the benefit of the doubt that they did the best with what they had, knew and felt at the time.

AND we hold the power to forgive ourselves. I here by excuse you from the shoulds you have weighing on your shoulders.

Poof! You’re a million pounds lighter.

~ Funny story about the above pictures. This past Thursday, I was backing down the drive and my truck slid into a pickle. It took us all day to get it out and ended up destroying the fence. The miracle is my front tire was an inch from the edge of the deck wall. My truck could have rolled over onto the deck and into the house. Miracles do happen and Jase never once told me what I “SHOULD” have done. ~

5 thoughts on “Stop Should~ing On Yourself and Others

  1. I’m glad to hear that he didn’t should you. In moments like that, no one wants to get a lecture. You want to remedy the situation and feel better. I grew up hearing all the shoulds in the world. Some of it rubbed off on me, but I try to at least delay it and not make a bad moment worse. You are there to help and support someone, not make them feel more like shit.

    When it comes to shoulding myself, I think it’s mostly for the future. But how many times are we in that very same situation in which that should can apply?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jase will be first to admit he “shoulds” on me for other things and I him haha 😉

      I am definitely my own worst enemy though. Like you a lot involves the future, and I tend to feel tremendous guilt over parts of my past…….working on it though!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. So nice of Jase! Hooray!
    People do what they can with the possibilities they have at the moment. Wouldn’t it be silly to expect a goldfish to fly because it should become more effective?


  3. Precarious – one of those unlucky lucky moments indeed. You are dead right about how freeing it is to realise that “should have” doesn’t exist as a useful thing. Nothing we do in the past can be changed. We can only try better in future. Love your posts

    Liked by 1 person

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