It’s 7:30 am.
Sitting in my cave eating gluten free rotini with meat sauce and gobs of cheese.
I have to leave for work in an hour.
I have nothing to say. No ideas for a post. My mind feels fragmented.
There’s a ping pong ball in my brain, bouncing around, igniting random thoughts.
I’d like to unzip my skin and step outside for a bit.
It’s one of those mornings where meditation feels bland like rice with no salt or butter.
The information I read does not invoke emotion. It’s dead in the water.
The most poignant thing rolling around in my spaced out brain: “Don’t FEEL spiritual, BE IT!”
No matter the “feelings”, truth will remain truth.
I could spill forth a run on sentence of thoughts that make no sense. The fear of going to an outing with a couple I clean for is like being a child and seeing a teacher outside of school, it socks you in the gut, because it shifts your comfort zone so radically, how do I shift from being the cleaning lady, to being dressed up and having fun? How do I let go of the irrational fear? For most of life I’ve seen birds of prey soaring above my car as I drive, a reminder to soar, to not give up, to believe in something greater, lately I see numerous birds of prey and they are ALL sitting in trees. No soaring, perching. Am I being reminded to rest and trust the process. To cease trying and to be? Why is there such a fuss when a famous person dies when hundreds, maybe thousands of deaths go unnoticed around the globe. They are no less human than those in the “spotlight”.
Bouncing bouncing bouncing goes the ping pong ball of thought.
Today is just one of those days.