Ping Pong Ball

Photo by me

It’s 7:30 am.

Sitting in my cave eating gluten free rotini with meat sauce and gobs of cheese.

I have to leave for work in an hour.

I have nothing to say. No ideas for a post. My mind feels fragmented.

D-I-S-C-O-N-N-E-C-T-E-D

There’s a ping pong ball in my brain, bouncing around, igniting random thoughts.

I’d like to unzip my skin and step outside for a bit.

It’s one of those mornings where meditation feels bland like rice with no salt or butter.

The information I read does not invoke emotion. It’s dead in the water.

The most poignant thing rolling around in my spaced out brain: “Don’t FEEL spiritual, BE IT!”

No matter the “feelings”, truth will remain truth.

I could spill forth a run on sentence of thoughts that make no sense. The fear of going to an outing with a couple I clean for is like being a child and seeing a teacher outside of school, it socks you in the gut, because it shifts your comfort zone so radically, how do I shift from being the cleaning lady, to being dressed up and having fun? How do I let go of the irrational fear? For most of life I’ve seen birds of prey soaring above my car as I drive, a reminder to soar, to not give up, to believe in something greater, lately I see numerous birds of prey and they are ALL sitting in trees. No soaring, perching. Am I being reminded to rest and trust the process. To cease trying and to be? Why is there such a fuss when a famous person dies when hundreds, maybe thousands of deaths go unnoticed around the globe. They are no less human than those in the “spotlight”.

Bouncing bouncing bouncing goes the ping pong ball of thought.

Today is just one of those days.

9 thoughts on “Ping Pong Ball

  1. When I first saw the photo in my Reader, I thought I saw the eye of a tortoise who was throwing his legs up in the air. Or something. Hey, it made sense to me.

    I think you should ask yourself what makes the people you work for “better” than you. I’m sure it might feel awkward, but it’s not unheard of. It actually shows that they might be decent people if they feel like having dinner with you (or whatever it is that you plan on doing). Are you going to perform worse at work just because you went out? Probably not. Will they fire you if you have one too many drinks? Probably not. You have nothing to worry about. Just try to enjoy yourself.

    In regards to Kobe – I agree. People die every day. Unfortunately, some are more popular than others.

    Liked by 1 person

    • haha 🙂 I took that photo because it looked animalistic to me!

      The couple I work for are wonderful people. I’m the one with social anxiety over new experiences. I’ve been cleaning for them for 3 years and this is the first time we will get together. I actually met them while working at the homeless shelter, they volunteer there. So yes, they are my kind of peeps! They bought a table at a fundraiser and its a mardi gras dance! I know it will be fun and I have Jase who can talk to anyone and everyone and puts me at ease.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Like you say today is just one of those day’s. One of those disconnected from self days perhaps – when the world feels stretchy and skin too tight. That’s what happens to me anyway. Don’t overthink it just roll. Things return to “normal” eventually

    Liked by 1 person

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