The Icy Truth

photo by me

Here’s the skinny: this is a strange time of the year. I just read a post by stormsoutside reminding me of this fact.

The holiday’s are not a jolly time for everyone. It’s a time of the year that’s questionable at best.

For those of you that read this blog regularly, you know I clean homes and work retail. You also know I’m navigating mystery health issues that a team of doctors are guessing at. The recent brain scan had 2 professionals saying “oh, this is not good” and a third saying “Your brain is good, lets get an MRI of your neck and lower back”……….ok??????? I suppose I’ll gather all my “scans” and get a second opinion, blah fucking blah……..blood work, sleep studies, x-rays……. Long story short:

I FEEL LIKE CRAP.

I HAVE NO ANSWERS

Add to that the laundry list of other worries, kids, finances, bankruptcy, homelessness etc…..

I was punched in the gut with the icy truth.

I don’t know when I will feel better. I may never feel better.

So who am I and who do I want to be? This is my life, like it or not.

Only I can find a way to be ridiculously, genuinely happy. To smile kindly and keep my energy in check while working with the public.

TO REMEMBER:

I AM NOT THE ONLY PERSON STRUGGLING.

Every single person is worried or struggling with something. Their outside may look polished and put together. I assure you, it’s not.

We are gifted with the freedom to choose our perspective. No one can take that away from you. You choose how you act and which lens you look though.

I am by no means telling you to ignore you negative emotions. What good would that do? Acknowledge and work through them. This is not a fake it till you make it plea. It’s a realization that we are all going though “stuff.”We can go though it and be happy at the same time. Our emotions can learn to live side by side.

I am skilled at setting up my own private pity party camp, building a fire and wallowing in my slop. After a few day’s it gets very uncomfortable, I tear down camp, and chuck it in the fuck it bucket.

Rather than being overwhelmingly burdened, try being annoyingly happy. I’m talking crazy town happy……….I just might wear a santa hat to my retail job today…..I just might.

7 thoughts on “The Icy Truth

  1. I absolutely hate it when you cannot get a straight medical answer. There’s always a million more tests that need to be done. I’m sorry you have to deal with that. You should not have to worry about doubting doctors at such an uneasy for you time. Hopefully, they get their stuff together sooner than later.

    It’s amazing to see you still looking at the bright side of life. I know many people who see nothing but darkness with something goes wrong and they refuse to acknowledge other people’s issues. Then, there are people who are going through a lot but will still worry and look out for others. Your outlook really does matter. It makes a difference to you AND the people around you.

    No, this time of year is not jolly for everyone. I am more than aware of this. Be mindful. Great tip!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Questionable is a good word to describe my thoughts about the holidays as well. I like your optimistic view and strongly encourage you to wear that santa hat. Did you? 🙂
    I nominated you for a Blogger Recognition Award. To give you some extra work (:
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I like to read this blog.

    Liked by 1 person

    • First off, thank you! That was very kind of you 🙂

      I ended up not wearing the santa hat because I have reading glasses that sit on the top of my head lol! I put the hat on and said “shit, where do I put my glasses!”

      Like

  3. Love your attitude…you get it! Now if your doctors can get it…right?
    Hang in there. I was sick for most of my life and never diagnosed until my late 40’s. I gave up on doctors for much of the time between because they would all eventually say it was in my head….and I was like “NO ***HOLE…it’s in my body.” Praying that you find a doctor who wants to help! Hang in there and believe you will find her/him.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Lorrie 🙂 I’m so sorry it took so long to get a diagnosis, I hope you are now thriving and healing. This is quite a journey and I ask for direction for the right doctors, podcasts, books, nutrition etc. No experience is ever wasted, right?

      Like

      • Never! As we are body, mind, spirit, and soul, I believe what we don’t understand in one realm gets presented in another until we have understanding.
        I send all good energy…and prayers for understanding. Doctors and medicine can take us so far…but the ultimate healing is in our hands.
        Sweet blessings💜

        Liked by 1 person

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