The Communication Stools

The art of communicating in relationships gets tossed around like objects in the junk drawer. In a perfect world good communication would be instinctive, but often times it’s not.

If left unchecked, communication can become non existent or it can turn into a primal scream.

I imagine most of us have experienced both. What gives? Is there a “right” way to communicate?

This is not our first rodeo. I was married for 20 years prior to meeting Jase. He was married twice in a span of 20 years. Poor bastard.

Man, I could tell you some shit from our 3 years together! My favorite might be the time I left him with our 80lb cargo bike and he had to pedal 15 miles home, uphill…….there were some strong emotions left unchecked that night….OOOO there’s the time he packed up all of his belongings and started driving back to PA (his homeland) only to have his car throw an electrical tantrum.

Communication in the early days was gravely malnourished.

Through countless disagreements, crying, yelling, and threats of leaving one another, we have found what works for us.

Once the two of us are home, we grab a glass of wine and a stool so we can share our thoughts and feelings from the day. We also share any conversations we’ve had, with family, friends, co-workers or passerby’s.

We leave no emotional stone unturned and nothing is watered down.

In the mornings we have coffee and discuss what we’re feeling about the day ahead.

The result is we feel closer to one another and there are fewer outburst or misunderstandings. Having 2 set times to talk things over brings a calmness to life.

If feels rather proactive. We clear the air and nothing has a chance to fester and get infected. We’ve also taken the time to sift through our previous arguments, healing the wounds inflicted by one another.

We now laugh at the drama we each brought to the table.

Would love to hear any wisdom you have unearthed in your communication skills. Feel free to comment!

As always, thanks for reading, and keep smiling 🙂

7 thoughts on “The Communication Stools

  1. Communication is key! And compassion and giving the other person the space they need to grow and flourish into whatever they need to be and do. Sounds like you’ve got a great system going. I just found your little gold mine of posts this morning – you weren’t showing up in my reader 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So many people mention that communication is important to them. But the healthy/ good type of communication is harder than one might think. Chances are we have different communication styles. We might want different things. And then our characters clash. We can communicate all we want, but it can sometimes be a waste of time and can actually hurt the relationship.

    It’s important to figure out a way to communicate efficiently with one another, keeping both parties in mind. I think feeling vulnerable is often what destroys it. We need to realize that we’re in it for the long haul (if we are) and that we care about ourselves and the other person.

    I am in awe of your technique. I try to do something like that at dinner and then when in bed, but it’s definitely not as specific as yours. I’m glad it works for you guys and that you are now in a better/ healthier relationship.

    Liked by 1 person

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